Beastiality, Red Bull and the Ocean

Well I just got back from a fun-filled weekend on Vancouver Island where I went and visited a friend that is up there taking law (yes some of my friends are smart because they aren't stupid like me and spend there weekends killing/drowning their brain cells). My flight was rather uneventful. I watched some sweet O.C. action (who knew that that show started up again) on the plane.

When I arrived, we immediately ordered some Pad Thai from my friend's fav Thai place (she apparently lives there part-time) and busted out the Rye. I decided since I was in B.C. and did not want to forget my Albertan roots, I bought the cheapest rye I could find "Alberta Premium" (which is totally ghetto). Victoria is known to be very politically correct so I figured I should offend everyone I could during my short stay on the Island. So at the liquor store my friend was talking about one of her classes she has which is entitled "Animals and the Law" or something like that. So naturally I asked her if they had a module on not having sex with animals (that's a law isn't it?) The liquor store clerk looked slightly appalled, as did everyone else. The whole weekend our motto was "even ugly animals need love". We were commenting on how hot dogs and other wildlife were. Yeah I'm twisted but it's a joke people.

On the Thursday night we got liquored up and went out to this bar that had no one in it. It was a fun night though. Couldn't tell you why because I may not remember. Could have involved some motorboat action with some friends...but one cannot be sure. I danced up a storm on the completely deserted dancefloor and proceeded to get refused entry into the next bar I tried to enter. The bar that wouldn't let us in was called Plan B. Well they were our Plan B so screw them for not letting me in because I was falling over.

On Friday I went shopping in downtown Victoria and I found a really nice pair of Sevens (not Seven but Sevens for all Humanity) for 100 bones. I was super happy about them. They are slightly tight but a couple of rounds of lunges in them should stretch them out. I know so because my other pair of Sevens stretched ridiculously. On Saturday Night we saw Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Gotta love that title. Seriously, all though the hotel scene was traumatizing, that movie was so funny. I pretty much peed my pants the whole way through. My favorite part is when they go to the dinner party. So awkward. Gotta love it! "My wife is dead....High Five!" After that we headed to a bar called Sauce and had a few drinks.

On Saturday, my friend I was staying with went to the airport to pick up her 17 year old brother. Since he was so young, we couldn't go to the bar so we ended up going over to her man's house and playing this game called "Beer Die". It's a silly game where you try to bounce a dice into the other person's drink and they have to try and catch the dice if you miss. If you miss catching the dice then you have to take a drink and if you get the dice in the other persons' drink, they have to drink the rest of their drink. It was pretty fun but got out of hand the more you drank. I spent the entire night making an ass of myself but it was a blast. I may have smooched a guy from the party (I will never tell) and I may have stolen him out from under another girls grip. Whoops! Another inside joke from the party is Gigi the Bum Blaster. But I am not going to explain that one, because those that know are the only ones who get to know!

On Sunday I took it easy and have a wonderful flight back to Calgary. The damn shuttle took about 40 minutes after my late-ass flight to even leave the airport but I save $10 damn it, by not taking a cab. The trip was really fun and I love the people that my friend goes to school with. They are so unjudgmental and they can handle and roll with my sick and twisted sense of humor. I will definitely have to make another trip out there next year to see them all.

One last item of interest from this week is that I scored my first indoor goal of the season in soccer last night by drop-kicking the ball out of the opposing goalies hands into the net. I'm dirty but it put a point on the board and we only won 3-2 so thank god it did!

Hockey Game Hijinks

My boss came to me yesterday and gave me two tickets to the Calgary Flames Game (NHL) for putting up with the crap client I was working on last week. That is such a sweet deal. I guess I should have a mental breakdown at work more often. In Cowtown we are obsessed with our Flames and I have yet to go to a Hockey Game. The ex told me that he was going to take me to a game last year and then proceeded to go to like 4 or 5 with his friends. Did he ever take me? No. Fucker! Speaking of the ex, I saw him the other night at the Indoor Soccer Centre in Cowtown and he completely ignored me. I typically ignore him but him ignoring me...how rude (I know I am a complete hypocrite).

I went for sushi today with a friend that is going to Thailand tomorrow. I am so jealous of her. It has been a really long time since I've gone anywhere but the US and I am getting the travel bug something wicked. I need to find a job where they will let me work for 9 months and then I can travel for 3 months. I don't care if they only pay me for the 9 months (and I am unpaid for the rest). I don't want to have a normal life where I work 9 to 5 and only have the weekends off. Something is backwards about that shit. Shouldn't you spend the majority of your life doing something you like (i.e. not work) and the minority making the money to do it? I just think providing me with only 3 weeks of holidays a year is bunk. It's not even close to enough time to enjoy my life. Think about it if I was to work until I was 60 and I got on average 4 weeks of holidays a year I would get 140 weeks of holidays. This equates to working 32.3 years and only having 2.69 years off (that is only 7% of my weekdays of my working life spent enjoying myself). That is a raw deal if you ask me.

Anyways I probably wont post again until after the weekend where I will be visiting a friend that lives in Victoria, B.C. (she's going to law school there). There is a cute boy there that I will get to see that I had HUGE sexual tension with when I met him when he came down to Cowtown to visit my friend. But I couldn't do anything with him because I was being faithful to my ex. Who knew that weeks later he would kick the lovely me to the curve. If I could only turn back time! Ah well now I can explore what the cute boy has to offer. I will provide the details! Have a good remembrance day and remember to give your one minute of silence on Saturday at 11 (for those of you in the U.S. disregard the previous).

Stupid Stuff to do when You are Drunk

So this week at work sucked. I had the most disrespectful client I have ever met try to tell me how to do my job and he also accused me or one of my co-workers of having a ringtone on our phone that says "Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you". What a nut! We were right by his office the whole week and no one had that ringtone. On the plus side my manager didn't believe a thing that was said and took me out for drinks on Friday because I looked like a needed it.

So Friday night started with a couple of drinks at the bar by my work with a bunch of workmates. I got a slight buzz from that and realized that it was 6:30pm and I had to haul ass home to change. My friend and her friend drove picked me up and we went to the James Blunt concert (the guy that sings that "You're Beautiful" song). The concert was pretty good but all the songs are super depressing. So you better believe we had to go out after that (so we didn't go home and kill ourselves).

After the concert we got dropped off on 17th Avenue (the Red Mile) and we went on an impromptu pub crawl. First we got pizza and I put honey on it (my friend suggested that I do so) and damned if it ain't good. After that we hit up a pub called Bungalow but there were a couple of creepy guys there that wouldn't leave us alone so we left that place in a hurry. After that we headed over to another pub called Mercury. That place is crazy. One of the bars is a fish tank but instead of putting rocks in the thing, it is just made out of clear glass. It's really lovely to see the fish poop while you are thinking of what drink to order. "I'll have a fish poop...I mean rye and coke"

We stayed there the rest of the night because we ran into a couple of friends we knew from soccer. One guy that was friends with a friend showed up and he was kind of cute. So I threw on the charm and he seemed interested. I spent the rest of the night hanging out with him. In Cowtown, a friend had put on the 30 Hour Soccer Marathon to raise money for cancer this weekend. So the whole night, we were talking about how we were going to find someone to drive us to the soccer centre to play for the 3 oclock shift. We were kind of half joking. But when the bar closed, me, my friend and the cute guy caught a cab together and we somehow convinced the cabbie to drive us to the Soccer Centre for $20 (it's a long-ass drive so that was a deal) because it was in the name of cancer. We all went and got our soccer gear from our places and went down to the soccer centre then we played our $20 to get in the marathon each.

When we got to the soccer centre there were a bunch of people I know playing soccer. They happened to be none other than my ex's complete soccer team (who I still love despite the breakup) and his best friend and brother. But, thank god, the ex wasn't there (he has to work every Saturday so I guess he didn't go). God all of us were so drunk and we were playing some good soccer. Every time I kicked someone in the shins or something I was like "Sorry, it's in the name of cancer". I would line up these awesome goals and then miss the ball completely and fall on my ass and lie there laughing for like 5 minutes. The best part of the night was that the cute guy was hitting on me harshly and right in front of the ex's best friend and brother. Haha! Take that one home to the ex. He can see just how sad I am about the whole breakup! I know...I'm immature...but I'm allowed to be from time to time.

We played soccer from 3am til about 5:30am. Then we found someone to give us a ride home. I unfortunately didn't get the cute guys number or give him mine because there were so many people in the car. But we run in similar circles...so I'm sure I'll see him soon. I hope so anyways.

Saturday night was pretty chill. The guy that works on the pipelines drove in from where he was working to visit me. We watched a couple of movies. He's pretty cute. We have been joking all week (via text messages) about how I am his sugar momma and that he should feed me grapes. So when he came on Saturday night, he brought grapes. I was like "Awwwww!" He's a good guy but still not sure how serious I can get with him.

We tied my soccer game 1-1 last week and that is only because the ref was an evil she-bitch and she gave us like 4 two minute penalties and 1 4 minute penalty for stuff that was completely incidental and one that was completely unfounded. That's okay though because we played down a 2-man power play from the other team and we scored a goal when they were on a power play (you should have seen the refs face...she was pissed when we did that). I missed a sweet goal in the last 30 seconds that I totally should have gotten. Ah well...what can you do eh? I'm going rock climbing for the first time in almost 2 weeks today so I am super excited. Next weekend I am going to Victoria, B.C. for the weekend to visit a friend. Should be a blast!

All I Want to do is Dance Dance!

(This was the pumpkin I made the other year but I didn't write a blog back then so I'm posting it now people!)

Well this weekend should've been funner (considering Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year). It was fun, but I different kind of fun. I saw myself dressing up all three nights (Friday - Sunday) but unfortunately that did not happen. I begged and pleaded with everyone to dress up but it's kind of hard to convince your friends to wear their skankish Halloween outfits when its -10 Celsius outside. Yeah it sure did get cold and just in time to rain on my parade.

On Friday night I headed over to my friend's house for her birthday. I made my first sushi and let me tell you they have given me honorary Japanese citizenship. Damn I was good. I put a ridiculous amount of Rho (orange fish eggs) on my sushi but they were a big hit. It's suprisingly not that hard to make sushi. The Japanese chef's at the sushi restaurants look all intense and it kind of made me thought it took magic or something to do. After that we chilled out and listened to some music. Then the cute boy (from last posting) showed up.

We then headed out to the Ship and Anchor (aka the Pip and Thank Her aka the Hip and Canker aka the Slip and Shank Her, etc) and we bought some drinks. My sister than showed up and me and the cute boy had to keep our distance because we know that she'd be watching and I wasn't ready to let her know that me and a guy that she formerly dated (don't worry people it wasn't serious) might be hookin' up. So we were all awkward.

Then all of the sudden everyone in the bar left except for me and him. So I asked him if he'd like to hang out. So he came over and we stayed up talking til the wee hours in the morning. The poor guy had to work at 7 am but I don't think he made it until 10ish. He brought up the fact that he'd like to not be single anymore and that he'd like to not be single with me. I brushed it off. I just babbled some incoherent shit and pretended to forget what I was saying. It's not that I don't want to date him it's just that maybe he isn't good for me. Like I said in the last post, we have converging life goals and also he works on the pipelines and is gone the majority of the time. But at the same time, he's really cute, sweet and I laugh my head off when I'm around him. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on yet.

The next day I slept most of the day and then I went to a movie. I saw The Departed. What I friggin' good movie. So many good actors in it and for once, Leonardo Dicaprio was able to act his way out of a paper bag. Good for him. He still looks 16 years old though.

After the movie I decided to go to Red Deer to meet said boy again. It was his friend's birthday and also kind of his send off (because he was moving to Costa Rica for the foreseeable future). So I drove down at about 8pm and we went out in Sylvan Lake (a small town by Red Deer). Sylvan Lake was a ghost town so we went into Red Deer to go out. We went to a bar called the Club. I used to not be able to turn a corner without seeing someone I knew in Red Deer but I didn't see anyone I knew all night. That's okay though...some people are there that I don't really want to run into (aka exes). Nothing eventful happened but there were a bunch of obscenely dressed girls there. Last time I check wearing a white bikini and angel wings is not a costume.

After that we went back to the boys place and hung out. He unfortunately rents a room in a barn. I know what a catch eh...but it actually makes sense for him to live in a barn. He works like the majority of the month and then is only home for like a couple of days a month (the rest of the time he is in Calgary visiting friends). The barn was cold, but it's a good excuse to cuddle with said boy. I hung out with him until 5 o'clock on Sunday then I drove back to Calgary to get ready to finally wear my Halloween outfit.

The outfit was really good (if I do say so myself). I dressed up as Britney Spears...but I was pregnant. I wore the hit me baby one more time (schoolgirl outfit) and I had a fake pregnant belly. It was awesome. I also had this hideous doll I bought from Value Village that used to be a girl but I gave it a home haircut. The doll acted as Britney's son Sean Alexander. I kept dropping it on its head and putting smokes in its mouth and feeding it booze throughout the night. She's just like Britney momma. I went to this show that my sister's boyfriend put on. He's so good at what he does. I will post some pics when I can find my damn camera cord and when blogger lets me upload photos. I seriously was never interested in drum and base music until I heard his. It was a fun night but I went home at midnight because I had to work Monday morning.

This weekend should be okay. I am going to the James Blunt concert on Friday night. I am undecided on how much I like him. I think the concert will be kind of depressing because he whines slightly too much. Ah well. I'm excited to go out after the concert though with a friend I haven't seen in forever. Then on Saturday the boy is supposed to be coming in to town for the evening to hang out. Tomorrow night I have a soccer game so I hope I kick some butt. We shall see.