Boys Boys Boys!

This last week was pretty fun. I attended the Calgary Business Hall of Fame Dinner on behalf of my company and it actually turned out to be a pretty decent affair. The host of the event was Ron McLean. For those of you who live under a rock (or in the US), Ron is a co-anchor on our much beloved Hockey Night in Canada. He regaled us with anecdotes that involved ice of some sort (the most non-hockey related story he told was about a couple of figure skaters). Man that guy is a good story teller. The dinner was really good and fancy but we had, by far, the youngest table going. I swear I have not seen so many middle-aged men in one room, along with their shining bald heads.

On Friday night, we had a girl's night out. We started off with a little indoor wall climbing (which yes, I am still obsessed with), then we went for supper and then to a movie. The climbing was really fun. I'm getting way better at it but I still have a lot to improve upon (aka my chicken arms need to get with the beef). We went out for supper and were going to go to this Cajun place but the bartender claimed that they were setting a table up for us but when we went sent someone in to have a look, they hadn't even touched any of the 5 open tables. So we said Screw you guys and went to a nearby pub and had some very healthy pub food. You can't knock the pub food.

After that we went to the worst movie ever Marie Antoinette. Again, save yourself the time and hit yourself in the head with some stilettos. Dammit, this movie was so pointless and boring. The story didnÂ’t even portray Marie Antoinette as a hero but more as a naive girl that just spent all of France's money. LAME-O!

After that everyone went home and I went on to go see my sister's boyfriend DJ at a pub. He's really good. Then this guy that I know (he's friends with my sister) showed up and started laying on the charm. I have to admit that I think I have a new crush. I'm not sure if he is the type of guy I could have anything super long-term with because he definitely has different life aspirations than I do. foreseeee myself having a good career, eventually getting married (if I meet any boys that aren't complete commitment-phobic poo-poo heads), and having kids. He, on the other hand, wants to buy land in Costa Rica and open up a hostel. Yeah...slightly converging life goals. But I'll be damned if he isn't cute.

So Saturday night I went out with said boy, one of my best buds from Edmonton, and a bunch of my friends and we saw a really good band from Australia play at our local university. They are called Cat Empire, and let me be the first to tell you...best show ever. I don't know if it was just because I'd drank a sizeable amount of rye or not, but I have never danced my ass off more at a concert. They had the whole place dancing all over. If they ever come to you town GO SEE THEM! You won't regret it. Apparently they are huge in Australia and I'm sure they'll do alright here.

After that we went to the pub that my sister waitresses at and had some more drinks. By that point I was so wasted I could barely walk. But when we were at the table, the boy grabbed my hand and held it. He's such a dream-boat. But there is one problem...he used to date my sister. So I am trying to fight this crush but damn is he cute. Anyways we have been texting each other back and forth all week. He's really cute and I get all happy and excited each time I hear the texting beep. Hopefully I will be able to see him this weekend. We shall see.

On Sunday morning, me and my Edmontonian friend were bored so we set up a profile on lavalife so that we could check the listings in Red Deer (the town where I grew up) to see if there was anyone on there that I knew. I set my name up as "Boobs McGee" and my tagline was "I have large breasts. Please put your head in them". Then in the section where it asked you to tell a little about yourself, I wrote "Motorboat. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" The I put the following picture as my profile pic:



(Yes kids.....this are actually my boobs. They may or may not be thrusted vigorously into the camera but impressive none the less!)

So needless to say I got a instant message from someone the someone the second I hit enter. I convinced this guy I was stripping for a living and trying to put myself through medical school. Meanwhile, me and my friend were pissing ourselves laughing. Stupid men!!!

Well this week is almost over and it is sure to be a good one. I have a sweet Halloween outfit lined up, which I will not disclose until I have some good pics to go along with it. I hope y'all have a good Halloween. Trick or Treat. Treat for me s'il vous plait!!!!!

A Long Time in the Making

Yeah so I suck and haven't posted in a long time. I sat down to write a rather lengthy and inspired post last week but then my laptop, which has a battery life of about 5 minutes after it performs the tedious task of starting up, died on me when I was putting the finishing touches on a good blog. I have only just worked up the motivation to re-write the blog today. Sorry!!! I will upload some photos once blogger stops being STUPID!

Okay so the weekend before last, on Thursday, I went out to a dueling piano bar called "Aussie Rules" and to the lovely Cowboys (circa last Thursdays - still had fake breasts on tap, along with cheap draft beer). I developed my first crush since being single there. But, it is so taboo......on a guy from work. I am normally really outgoing but as soon as I like a guy, I clam up and get all nervous. I don't know what happened. First I'm like "Yeah he's really nice" and that turned into "Actually he's really nice.....looking". And from there I was hooked. I am not going to describe more about him because I know lots of people from work read this and I do not want to specify more about him lest the rumor mill start a turning. It was a fun night, but I drank only one drink, which incidentally was from the breast of a hooter shooter girl (a friend paid me to do it). There may or may not be a video. Eek!

On Friday, I went out with a couple of friends to a bar called "Soho" which plays lots of hip hop and is frequented by lots of black people (which is quite alright with me). I invited the crush to come along....and he did! So that was good. Too bad that I had drank way too much Soho before I went to Soho and he saw me at my best (worst?) He came with 3 girls though (all of which I was assured were only friends), so that sucked. I just played my shy card as I do with people I like and nothing happened and one of his friends made him leave while I was in the bathroom. So my friend wrestled my cell phone out of my hands and texted him "The bar was alot cooler when you were here." Yeah so someone needs to invent a cell phone with a breathalizer in it that will only allow you to call a taxi to take your drunk ass home after about 0.1 blood alcohol level. So I looked at my call list last night and noticed that I called the crush at 1:15am. Totally don't remember that. Hope I didn't say anything too stupid. Whoops!

On Saturday I picked my friend Just an Alberta Girl at the airport and we then went shopping. The weekend before I had bought some tanktops at a store and then put them down to try something on and forgot them in another store. So I rebought those tanktops and I bought a nice hoodie. Then we went back to my place and got ready to go out. We went to a hard rock bar called "The Back Alley" or as people in Cowtown refer to it "Crack Alley" or simply "the Crack" because of its colorful clientele. In the time I was there I saw a girl dancing on the speaker with a short pleated skirt and I think she forgot to put on underoos! I also saw a gothic gal leading around a gothic guy by a leash (ummm no comment!) We took a couple of people that my friend new from Korea. They were hilarious. One guy could barely speak english but he sure did like the scantily clad beer tub girls! He was like the paparazzi! I ran into another couple of friends there that I wall climb with. They were on a date. So I tried to make it as uncomfortable as I could for them (yeah I know I'm nice).

On Sunday night I went to Thanksgiving (Canadian Thanksgiving) dinner with Just an Alberta girl. It was me and 30 Basians (people from Barbados). Man are they hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I could barely talk the next day because I laughed so much. And the drunker they got, the louder they got and the stronger their accents got. Some highlights from the evening was where they pulled out some wine and my friends aunt claimed that "Monks make this wine". I looked at the bottle, and it was Kosher wine with Hebrew writing on it. First, I don't think monks drink and I don't thing that they let monks in synagogue. It was funny they had a glass of Kosher wine in one hand and then a fork with ham on it in the other. Also, one of my friends cousins claimed that he bakes bread and makes salad for Co-op (one of our local grocery stores) and then sell it to them and then rebought it to support his own business. Thats why he brought store bought buns and salad. Too funny. I love my friends family!

Monday, I watched Employee of the Month. Trust me, just go save yourself some money and hit yourself in the head with a shoe. I love Dane Cook though! He's cute. And then we had Thanksgiving dinner at my parents (which happens to be my house now). It was good but everyone kept talking to me like I'm gonna kill myself because of the recent break-up. Seriously people....I have moved on! Leave me alone!

This weekend was rather uneventful. Me and my friend have been waiting for like 4 months to watch Get Rich or Die Tryin' but haven't been able to find a night where we could both get together. We watched movies and ate alot of junk food. Than on Saturday, I went for supper at an Etheopian restaurant (who knew that Ethopians even ate) and then we partook in some "herbal remedies" and watched a cheesy movie. Wow, can I ever not make nachos when I'm f'ed up!

We had our first soccer game of the season and am please to report that we won 5-1! Seriously, my team kicks ass. Not so much me personally, but my team is good! I have to play my old team, which I left due to bad coaching, this season. So that won't be fun. All in all, I had a good weekend though because I was able to stay away from the bar.

Oh you.....you crazy world!

Well I've been crazy busy lately not to mention I was in training last week, and had no internet access at training. And since I'm so awesome, I usually blog at lunch (don't worry I don't charge my time to a client or anything). So I dropped off the face of the earth. I'm extremely sorry to the 5 people that read my blog. I know, it must have been hard for you. Don't worry, I'm here to update you.

So last weekend, I went out to a party with some friends and it was a good time. It was weird though because I met these friends through a girlfriend of the ex's friend. So the one of the ex's good friends were there. I'm sure he enjoyed me telling them how I hate men now. And then watching my other friend trying to find a cute boy in the party to set me up with. Haha! Good, I hope he told the ex all about it. She's doing fine despite your blind, silly ass! We then went out to a bar where my sister's boyfriend was djaying. He's really good. I'm not a big techno fan but I love his stuff. I spent the night with my friend (who happens to be a bit of a male slut) and we were creeping out my sister by trying to convince her we were going home together. She looked full on creeped out. It was classic.

On Saturday I went to another party which was a going-away party for a friend who is taking off to Asia for 3 months. I'm so jealous. That'll be me next summer though. I am leaving for two months (first month to Eastern Europe and second month to Nepaul). Anyways I was promised that there would be cute guys there but all there ended up being were these two guys from work. They are hilarious. They are both a couple of years younger than me, and you can tell. But they crack me up. I think one of them had smoked up for the first time ever and the other one spilt a liter of drinks on the floor an hour.

Last week we spent the week training. All the people from our Vancouver and Winnipeg offices came down. The training is really fun though because one of my favorite managers was teaching it. He's amusing. Slightly politically incorrect but funny none the less. We had a good table. We got nick-named the "ADD table" (ADD in attention deficit disorder). I didn't learn much but I laughed so hard that I almost peed my pants.

Anyways we all headed out to the bar Cowboys (where the waitresses are famous for their large fake breasts) one night. It was lots of fun. There's this girl from Winnipeg (which is a small city in Manitoba) that was like this little fake looking china doll. She had quite the outfit on (short skirt, leopard print shirt). When we showed all the pics of the night, I think every guy in our training group had a picture grinding with her. Trust me, she was the last person in the room you would have accused of being an accountant. I danced up a storm with one of my good friends from work (neither of us know how to two-step worth a damn!!!) Anways I came home and passed out in my bed fully clothed and with all the lights in the house still on. Thank god I set my alarm to make it to training in time! I think I may also have developed a crush on a guy from work. We shall see. Right now I am scared of men though!

On Friday night, I went out for drinks again. I know, I know. I may be considered an alcoholic lately but it's keeping me busy and I don't know if I could handle sitting at home on a Friday/Saturday because it would make me sad. But alas, I haven't had to yet. I met a couple of friends at a pub and went home early because I was going rock climbing early on Saturday morning and shopping for a new watch.

The Saturday night, I went out (AGAIN) with some friends for a girl from my works birthday. It was a good time. It think that I got hit on for the first time since being single. That was exciting. I'm not yet interested but it was atleast good to know I've still got it. Anyways we tried to go to a bar called Ranchman's but the line was wayyyyyy too long and then we went to a pub next door instead. Pretty tame night, but it was okay. The only problem with the night is that I had two friends say "Hey, Cowtown Gal, I'm right here" when I was talking to them a bit too loud. That is my pet peeve when someone says those exact words to me. I don't know why. Like for god sakes we are standing outside a loud-ass bar and I'm slightly drunk. Seriously, don't make me feel stupid for speaking loudly. I don't blame them. But when people talk loud to me, I just don't say anything.

So that has been the exciting Cowtown Gal's life for the past couple of weeks. Too much booze-filled fun. I miss having a boyfriend only for the fact that it's hard to find someone to just chill out with. As most of my friends are in couples now and it is hard to get one of them to just chill with me and watch movies (because they just want to go out as they spend their chill-time with their boyfriends/girlfriends). Next weekend Just an Alberta Girl is coming down and we are going out on the town. Yes, AGAIN! Woo hoo! Should be good fun. Hopefully I will have internet access during training next week (we are changing locations).